Gleaning real-life lessons from bad WoW experiences

I liked my guild. I liked the people in it. I was even doing school projects on my guild, creating advertisements for recruitment. And last night, I was kicked out. That's right, straight-up /gkick!!

I wish I could say that it wasn't my fault, or that the reasons weren't personal or anything... but I can't. I was kicked out of the guild for openly and extensively criticizing the raid leader (and GM), as well as other people in the raid who I believed weren't putting forth enough effort or focus. I had my reasons for being frustrated--- we were 7 hours into a 10 naxx run, and we had been wiping the entire time because ppl were goofing off (etc), even though the place was on farm and usually only took us ~4 hrs to complete. We got to the last boss, failed about 3 times, then the GM said he was frustrated and had to "quit." Again. He had to quit the night before too (Malygos run, also because he was frustrated).

Let's take a step back here. As I said, I had been doing school projects related to WoW and this guild. This blog is one of those projects. My final project, worth 40% of my grade in the class, was going to include screen shots and video of the guild downing various raid bosses. So as you can see, there's a pretty obvious disconnect here between myself and the rest of the raid--- this was actually somewhat serious business to me, whereas to them it really was just screw-around time. No wonder the following occurred.

The night before Naxx we were attempting Malygos (downed twice by the guild), and the Naxx night we were on Kel'Thuzad, the final boss of Naxx. When the GM said he was quitting, he said that we would resume the next night. This is where I really got annoyed....

I didn't think it was fair for the GM to just assume that everyone could make it the next night, and the way the system works, if they decided to kill KT the next night and I couldn't make it, that would mean that I had to wait another week before I could get even the raw materials for the project I was going to put together. I mean, why even bother making a schedule ahead of time if you are just going to deviate from it last minute, right? So I made a couple scathing remarks at the GM, and blasted him for quitting. I wish I could remember what I said. It wasn't completely terrible, but I was definitely trying to get under his skin. And I did. He went off on me, expressing his annoyance with me 10x's stronger than I had with him--- this created a very awkward and dramatic situation for the raid.

I don't think I've ever been fired from a job before, or asked to leave a team... or anything of that nature. If I have, I've blocked it out and since forgotten. But that is how I am thinking of this. Pretty much, I didn't agree with my boss and coworkers, and I lashed out at them, harshly stating how I expected more. If I had expressed my feelings in a more mature, calm, and collected manner, everything probably would have been fine. But openly lashing out wasn't the right choice to make. My only excuse would be that I have a lot of real-life stress going on right now, which is true--- but notice how it didn't matter to these people, even though I previously would have considered them similar to "friends." I am going to use this as a learning experience.

Even if my reasons for being frustrated are right, and even if I have solid excuses arising from extenuating circumstances unrelated to the game (job), I still can't 'act out.' Damn, I hate phrasing it like that, "acting out"..... It sounds so childish. But really, that's exactly what my behavior was, and that's why I am not in that guild anymore. I won't admit that I think the GM was being fair with me, because I think a lot of the reason he kicked me out was to save face (by removing the source of his own outburst, he could justify his ability to maintain strong leadership and authority in the guild--- I would no longer be there to point out flaws and undermine his authority in a very non-private forum). and because he didn't seem to care that I was being effected by those special circumstances (which I explained to him, btw). But what is amazing, is that it DOESN'T MATTER whether he made the right choice. Life is a game. One big game. For this bit of it, the GM got to call the shots-- he could have made the right choice or the wrong choice (both are possible and easily debatable).... but because I didn't make him happy, I'm out. End of story. I didn't play his game well, I had no more "extra lives" (gogo super mario green mushrooms!) left (not the first time I'd gotten frustrated in a raid-- though this was arguable worse), and I got a Game Over.

It has taken me 22 years to have this happen to me, which is impressive considering how impatient I can be, and how often I get frustrated. I knew that this could happen, it just never has. Now that I have this experience, I can no longer deny the real consequences of inappropriate behavior. There are a lot of reasons why my behavior should be excused (those personal extenuating circumstances), and even more reasons why this game isn't like real life. But nonetheless, if we make mistakes, why not learn from them, right? So now I am challenging myself to take the lesson I have learned here (as terribly embarrassing and pathetic as it may be) and actually apply it to my life 100% of the time. If am able to do this, and say someday it saves me from losing a job I really love, I think it would be safe to say that WoW has had some practical value to me. Gogo computer games. This one falls under the categories of intellect, social life, and jobs. Lesson learned, continue on....